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That's My Official Position By Bill Van Gieson, The Antagonistic Dad "I'm going to ask you a loaded question, how'd you like some tax relief?" That was the C-student to a factory worker in Pennsylvania, a few months ago, in a candid interview set up so Bush could spontaneously ask the question of one of his ardent supporters. I have a loaded question, myself; Why doesn't anyone answer these queries honestly? As in, "Yes, Georgie, I would like tax relief with the same dollar value as the relief you're giving to your Oil Baron Pals." If that happened, us folks would never pay a dollar again. To the federal government at least. Our school taxes would go through the roof, the states would whack us all with income taxes, and municipalities the size of a small building would have to impose their own sales taxes, but the IRS wouldn't be deducting anything from my paycheck. Try to understand this; I'm used to the president being an idiot. Why would any reasonable, intelligent, honest person want the job anyway? You don't get to sleep, eat regular meals, spend any real time with your family, your whole life is shmoozing with the morons that run all the other ridiculous governments around the world. How much fun can it be to have dinner with the President of Israel, for christ's sake? What must it be like to hang out with Yassar Arafat? You know why everyone thinks that Martin Sheen is such a great president? Because he's not the president. He's an actor. He gets to go home at night. Here's another bombshell. You know all those idealistic beauties that hang around the White House in that show? They're actors too. They are not the sycophantic, self-aggrandizing, favor-selling, fairly unattractive slimeballs that really hang around most leaders. A show about them would have to be broadcast on HBO — no, Showtime — after midnight. The president is an Ivy League C-student who doesn't understand why anyone would think that he's ridiculous. The protesters at Yale a couple of weeks ago were wasting their time. The only way to get this guy's attention is to smack him in the face with a rubber chicken. That's the sort of language he can understand. Here's my official position: I don't want this tax rebate, refund or reduction. I'm not going to get to spend it anyway. I've got to stash it away for when I lose my job after the stock market crash. Because, deep in their hearts, the invisible, dangerous people who control these things know the same thing that you and I know; The President of the United States is not caring, not considerate, probably not even human. The President of the United States is in fact, a moron, fit only to manage, you should pardon the expression, Texas, which, if it disappeared off the face of the earth, I wouldn't mind, although gas prices would probably go up. |
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